The Washington Salute - "You Did It!"
Not surprisingly, the finger pointing in Washington is as out-of-control as the well that precipitated it. This public spectacle is now more closely followed than the actual spill response. As a result, perceptions become reality and reality is altered to support perceptions.
If you want to participate in the bash-fest and dare to compete with Washington’s best, here are some tips:
- Shoot high; go after the top dogs. Blast President Obama, President Bush, and every other President going back to James Buchanan. Why did Buchanan allow Colonel Drake to drill the first oil-well in Buchanan’s home state of Pennsylvania in 1859. Why wasn’t he more visible when the well started to flow? Where was his leadership? Did you see the mess? No wonder they call it Oil Creek.
- Criticize every Secretary of the Interior starting with Albert Fall who in 1922 leased, without competitive bidding, the Teapot Dome fields to Harry Sinclair of Sinclair Oil. Talk about the culture of corruption which Fall fostered and the Department’s inability to clean house.
- Humiliate every employee of the MMS. When you are pointing the finger, don’t worry about getting the bureau’s name right (90% of the critics don’t). Feel free to call it the Minerals and Mining Service, Marine Minerals Survey, Mineral Management Service (which mineral?), Minerals Management Services (which services?) or any other name you can say with a snarl. Be sure to make some juvenile comment about how the MMS is literally in bed with industry. Don’t bother to read the investigation reports which show how few people were actually involved and are much less sensational than the media accounts.
- Take a cheap shot at the Coast Guard by shouting that the military needs to take over the spill response. Sadly, even some retired military officers have made such comments. They should know better.
- Take shots at whale lovers. If it weren’t for them we could go back to burning whale oil.
- Criticize alternative energy proponents for the slow pace of renewable energy development. Point out how Cape Wind has been dragging their feet on the Nantucket Sound project. (BTW, it was the maligned employees of MMS who took the initiative, on their own, to draft the legislation that provided a framework for offshore renewable energy development. Were it not for their leadership, renewable energy development would have been even further delayed.)
- Take a few swipes at BP, Transocean, Halliburton, and Cameron, but save your best shots for other oil industry targets. BP et al are too easy for the real pros. Talk about your vast experience in working with this industry. If that’s too big of a stretch, even by Washington standards, talk about your friend or relative who worked in the industry.
- Point to past incidents regardless of their relevance. Disregard historical data that contradict your position.
- Don’t criticize US energy consumption, at least not if you have any political ambitions. Consumption is fine; production is the problem.
- Lastly, take your shots with great confidence. Style is more important than substance. Be loud and certain.
Bud's Offshore Energy (BOE) 